A Germ Gem

Release Date:   7/30/1916
Distributor:   Mutual
Reels:   1
Brand:   Beauty
Genre:   Comedy
Director:   Orral Humphrey
Confirmed Cast:   Orral Humphrey, Josephine Taylor, Joseph Massey
Story Summary:

Septimus Flux was a student of the germ. He was a nut on the subject. He always carried a thermometer, magnifying glass, antiseptic fluid, etc. with him, and whenever he came to an object or person foreboding the presence of more germs than necessary, Septimus would kill them with his dope. Like the law of the opposites was Pemina, the wife of Septimus. She always let in too much air, mixed too much food, etc. Septimus spent what time he had to spare keeping Pemina from making a germ haven of the house and herself. Septimus read that George, Pemina's brother, would soon be on a visit to them. Septimus immediately ordered the guest room disinfected and all the germs waylaid. It was done.

George arrived. He was a speedy chap with a desire that ran to pleasure. He embraced Pemina on his arrival and there was a sounding smack when their lips met. Septimus went wild as he calculated the germs transferred from one to the other. He argued with George and showed him the benefits of a sanitary kiss, but George couldn't see it. Pemina confided in George the fact that Septimus was a germ-nut. George did a little quick thinking and then told Pemina that she needn't worry, he would cure the old chap.

Working in his laboratory, Septimus suddenly felt a draught. He drew his thermometer, turned around, and discovered George standing behind him. Septimus started to spray the air with antiseptic but George forestalled him with the information that they were going out. Septimus held back but George was firm, and taking the old fellow with no little force led him from the house.

They went into a taxi, opened the doors, in came the air, and while Septimus raved, George did everything possible that the old fellow didn't like Finally they came to a park. Septimus pleaded with tears in his eyes that they get out of the auto and inhale sufficient oxygen to offset the germs they had so far taken in. George wondered. Then acceded.

They started to stroll the park, and while so doing passed two pretty damsels. George made their acquaintance and introduced Septimus, who held away, lest he be ingested with the germ. They suggested a stroll, and away they went. George cuddled close to his friend, but Septimus held aside. They came to a refreshment parlor. Septimus couldn't indulge, but his lady friend managed to get close enough to him to insist, so Septimus fell.

The rest was then different. The man who had once been so fearful of the germ, now proceeded irregardless of it. He even forgot that he had the germ of the wife at home and his actions were very much out of place for a married man. George merely smiled until things became a little too serious, then he bundled Septimus into a cab, and took him home. And when Septimus arrived home he kissed his wife! She was surprised, and wondered. She asked George, but he would never tell. And so it came to pass that Septimus Flux gave up the study of germs.

- Moving Picture World, August 5, 1916

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